A lot of people have been asking me lately about writing a good thesis statement. And this is a great question I’ve been planning to write on for some time now. Let’s first explore what’s the big deal about those thesis statements, and then dive in to see how to write them.
So, why is it important to write a good thesis statement? Most instructors and professors, when reading their students’ essays, very often have hard time finding the main point of the essay stated anywhere within the paper in clear language. This brings them a lot of frustration because they can’t quite figure out what exactly the essay is really about. And you can imagine what happens to the grade as a result. Needless to say, too many college essays suffer poor grades just because their thesis statements are either nowhere to be found or are so hard to find that they are often confused with other general statements.
So, just to get this out of the way, you don’t always have to write an Introduction right before you state your thesis.
But your essay MUST have a clearly written thesis statement to be considered an essay and to receive a good or an excellent grade. Your thesis statement should contain 2 things:
1. Your Thesis (that is, your main argument)
2. The Statement of why you believe the Thesis is true (in other words, a summary of your evidence)
By the way, it’s easy to remember it this way:
Thesis Statement = Thesis + Statement of evidence
So, what should your Thesis do? It should state your main point as simply as possible, most likely in only one or two sentences (unless you’re writing a long paper on a complex subject). Example:
Exercise can be addictive because of three processes.
It’s clear what the essay is about. What is it about? Exercise. It’s also clear what the writer is trying to say about exercise, which is that it can be addictive. This sentence does one more thing: it hints the reader that the evidence will be divided into 3 sections (we don’t know what they are yet).
Now, right after it has become clear what the author is talking about, the most logical thing to do is to describe briefly what those processes are. As soon as that is done, it is logical to proceed with the evidence (support). So, let’s see what are those 3 ways in which exercise can be addictive (let’s include the thesis):
Exercise can be addictive because of three processes. First, some forms of exercise stimulate the release of endorphins which are addictive. Second, exercise can give the person a feeling of muscle tone which, when exercising discontinues, fades and makes the person crave exercise to regain it. Finally, exercising regularly for about six months creates a new rhythm within the person’s physiology that makes the person wake up at the same time and just head straight to the gym without thinking about it.
This is a complete thesis statement. The part that begins with the word “First” is the statement of evidence. The author makes it clear to us the reader how exactly she plans to show that exercise can be addictive.
And as soon as the writer finishes that last sentence of the thesis statement, she should start a new paragraph and begin supporting the claims, starting with the first one – that exercise can produce the addictive endorphins.
How many sections will all of the support have? You already know the answer – it’s three: about endorphins, about muscle tone, and about new physiological rhythm. Fair enough?
I’ll come back to this again and again in my posts. If you can learn how to write your thesis statements like this, your college studies will be so much easier and more enjoyable. Can you imagine knowing exactly what you’re doing every time you sit down to write a paper? It’s a great feeling.
Hi Phil,
This was an informative post with elaborate example. I wish I would utilize this technique in my essays. However i have one question regarding it. Won’t it get too repetitive ( stating thesis first and then elaborating the same points) ?
Hi, Sumant.
I’m glad you liked the post.
And you’re asking a great question, because it indeed may seem repetitious to state a bunch of points and then to elaborate on them. Here’s a good way to think about it.
Writing your thesis statement like this accomplishes at least three things:
1. It helps you the writer to see what exactly your essay will look like in the end. This helps you keep focused and write only the relevant material in each section. It kind of functions like an outline.
2. It helps your reader understand your essay because by the time he is finished reading the opening paragraph, he has “allotted space in his brain,” so to speak, for your argument. And then all you have to do is fill in that space with relevant material – and your reader can’t help but be convinced.
3. When a college professor or instructor reads an essay written this way, it’s like a breath of fresh air to him. You see, most of the time, students don’t write like this. And this is not because they don’t want to be repetitious. It is usually because they can’t quite see the structure of their own argument. When you do write out a full thesis statement the way I teach you to, it becomes clear to the instructor that you’ve actually thought about it instead of just winging it last minute before the hour the paper is due.
Also, this is really a classic way to write – it goes back to Aristotle. And he was one smart guy.
And, trust me, I’m against being repetitive in expository essays probably more than anyone else (check out this post: How to Improve Your Sentences).
So, I hope you are convinced. If not, let me know – I love a challenge. And stop by again.
I see your point about repetative sentences in the thesis section. It is crucial to write an impressive thesis statement at the beginning to get the attention of the readers. Moreover you explain it in a very clear way.
Next time, you could post just a thesis statement here for us to look at before you even write the rest of the essay. We’ll work on it, and then you’ll try to see if it makes your job of writing the rest of the essay easier.
thanx for ur advice…i understood what point u tried to illustrate.. ..i m enclosing a different essay now in which the upront example is just to begin an essay in a story mode and then drive the point….pls check this out and let me know ur suggestions on it…..
Is India fit for democracy?
Having walked all way through the bridge, I saw an old man sitting at the end and babbling with himself. I confronted him and asked,” Baba why are you sitting here?” He looked at me with his clumsy eyes and perplexed expression and said,” I am wondering what will I say when the National Population Statisticians will ask me my ‘caste’, I never thought myself to be something other than an Indian”.
I was awestricken by his answer and realized how ill equipped our democracy was. Our country has been developing rapidly economically but it still lags behind in the Social developments. When China started its economic reforms, India was a larger democracy. But now we are far behind the Chinese in almost every aspect of development. Despite china being the most populated country in the world, it has soared to the second fastest growing economy in the world behind Japan just on the model of export oriented growth. It has yet to tap its huge potential in the domestic market which is estimated to increase its GDP by a quarter percent of the present growth.
In the paradigm of recent times, we generally come across different facets of our country with every passing hour. From having the first mover advantage to being a laggard, we have redefined our democracy in a more subtle way.
Now the thing to ponder is what is that they have done right and we have not? Despite being a communist ruled country till date, their growth and advancement has been phenomenal. Most importantly I would say the lack of conviction on the part of the politicians have led to the downfall of India. The division on the basis of Cast, Creed and Sex has inherently made this country a hollow dump of false hopes and promises. The most devastating and the prominent cause of this downfall of democracy has been corruption which is so widely spread across the sectors in India. From the Ministers to the Peons, everybody has in some way or the other shown the signs of corruption which has stalled the progress of this nation. Now even the people of the country have lost faith in its leaders which can be accounted by low turnover of votes during the Elections. Nobody wants to get into Politics thinking it to be a manhole in which one who falls gets corrupted. The tonnes of Food Grains that are being left to rot in the stores depict the condition of democracy in India
A Communist or Military dominance would have augured well for the country seeing the present State of Affairs. The richer are becoming more rich and the Poorer and getting more poor. Is this the justice of a democracy? My view says it’s certainly not. It’s a strangulation of the core basis of democracy which is equality of rights and freedom. The government should have certain consideration towards the lower section of the society to make this country a successful democracy. Just running the various incentive schemes won’t change the situation unless they are monitored and guided well. The infrastructure planning and execution should be on par with the proposal of the Planning Commission for a rapid growth. A change in the attitude and a more concrete way of taking responsibility and handling issues can take this country to a higher level of democracy otherwise it will soon turn into a curse.
Dear Phil,
May I assess this essay of Tusheet. First of all let me make it clear that the story type of debating essays are certainly interesting. I feel that we can influence the reader better through this type than the fact and figure method which is quite traditional. Don’t you agree, Phil?
Now let me suggest the obvious. As Phil advised later in this entry, (Pl. see below.) give some points of the other side of argument. So that you should not sound quite biased. It is easy to find fault with a system. But it is difficult to provide a solution. Rules are quite strict in China unlike India, where we have democracy. It will be like comparing the actions of US and India as far as attacking a foreign country is concerned. India is not US to launch an attack on Pakistan as did in case of Afghanistan to set right the terrorists there.
Tutor Phil, Thanks a million for your answer to my question. Now I would like to know how to write argumentative or debate type of essays effectively. I have tried out a method practically in classes which is quite effective. I write the topic on the board and ask the students to give me some points FOR and AGAINST the topic. Once I get about five points on both sides, I ask the students to write their essays.
I have question here. While writing an essay, is it necessary to to stick to one oint only or we can have an opposite!!
Sorry about the belated reply – blame it on the efforts towards my new book that’s coming out soon.
With regards to your method – it’s a great method. It makes your students THINK, which is a key human activity. Great job there.
And as for your question – it’s a great question. I’ll give you my honest answer, and please don’t feel like I’m lecturing you. 🙂 I’m simply telling it as it is.
The answer is that you may write either a completely one-sided argument, or a perfectly balanced argument. There is also a third kind of an argument which I call one-sided with a small objection. You may use one of these three according to your needs and your conscience.
1. If one of your students writes that chocolate ice-cream is the best in the world and the rest of the flavors are junk, and gives you a very well-written argument to support that thought, will you downgrade him just because you like vanilla? It may seem that the student is inconsiderate of the opinions of others. But if he truly believes that, and hates vanilla, how can he write that vanilla is good as well? In short, there is nothing wrong with a one-sided argument. Write it, but remember that a good chunk of your audience may disagree.
2. If you write a very balanced perspective, it is best to sway a little towards one side or the other, so that it appears that you have an opinion.
3. The one method that most readers will appreciate is to write a one-sided argument with a little counterargument. It’s like saying: I love almost everything about a Toyota. It’s fast, reliable, and inexpensive. Unfortunately, it’s not good-looking enough, but that’s nothing in view of all the benefits.
This way, your argument is strongly one-sided. But your reader also gets a sense that you’re not biased.
I would advise to watch the videos on this website if you need to learn how to get started.
Writing a good thesis statement is your first step. But it also consists of several steps. So, the best first step is to watch the videos on my blog – they all contain advice on how to get started.
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A lot of people have been asking me lately about writing a good thesis statement. And this is a great question I’ve been planning to write on for some time now. Let’s first explore what’s the big deal about those thesis statements, and then dive in to see how to write them.
Hi Phil,
This was an informative post with elaborate example. I wish I would utilize this technique in my essays. However i have one question regarding it. Won’t it get too repetitive ( stating thesis first and then elaborating the same points) ?
Hi, Sumant.
I’m glad you liked the post.
And you’re asking a great question, because it indeed may seem repetitious to state a bunch of points and then to elaborate on them. Here’s a good way to think about it.
Writing your thesis statement like this accomplishes at least three things:
1. It helps you the writer to see what exactly your essay will look like in the end. This helps you keep focused and write only the relevant material in each section. It kind of functions like an outline.
2. It helps your reader understand your essay because by the time he is finished reading the opening paragraph, he has “allotted space in his brain,” so to speak, for your argument. And then all you have to do is fill in that space with relevant material – and your reader can’t help but be convinced.
3. When a college professor or instructor reads an essay written this way, it’s like a breath of fresh air to him. You see, most of the time, students don’t write like this. And this is not because they don’t want to be repetitious. It is usually because they can’t quite see the structure of their own argument. When you do write out a full thesis statement the way I teach you to, it becomes clear to the instructor that you’ve actually thought about it instead of just winging it last minute before the hour the paper is due.
Also, this is really a classic way to write – it goes back to Aristotle. And he was one smart guy.
And, trust me, I’m against being repetitive in expository essays probably more than anyone else (check out this post: How to Improve Your Sentences).
So, I hope you are convinced. If not, let me know – I love a challenge. And stop by again.
Cheers…
Hi Phil!
I see your point about repetative sentences in the thesis section. It is crucial to write an impressive thesis statement at the beginning to get the attention of the readers. Moreover you explain it in a very clear way.
I’m glad you agree.
Next time, you could post just a thesis statement here for us to look at before you even write the rest of the essay. We’ll work on it, and then you’ll try to see if it makes your job of writing the rest of the essay easier.
Plz give a thesis statement on Democracy
Hello Nadir,
I just created a video to answer your question. You can watch it here:
http://www.tutorphil.com/blog/qa-how-do-i-write-a-thesis-on-democracy/
Take care…
TP
Hello,
just to let you know that your works are really helpful.
Thank you, Moji.
thanx for ur advice…i understood what point u tried to illustrate.. ..i m enclosing a different essay now in which the upront example is just to begin an essay in a story mode and then drive the point….pls check this out and let me know ur suggestions on it…..
Is India fit for democracy?
Having walked all way through the bridge, I saw an old man sitting at the end and babbling with himself. I confronted him and asked,” Baba why are you sitting here?” He looked at me with his clumsy eyes and perplexed expression and said,” I am wondering what will I say when the National Population Statisticians will ask me my ‘caste’, I never thought myself to be something other than an Indian”.
I was awestricken by his answer and realized how ill equipped our democracy was. Our country has been developing rapidly economically but it still lags behind in the Social developments. When China started its economic reforms, India was a larger democracy. But now we are far behind the Chinese in almost every aspect of development. Despite china being the most populated country in the world, it has soared to the second fastest growing economy in the world behind Japan just on the model of export oriented growth. It has yet to tap its huge potential in the domestic market which is estimated to increase its GDP by a quarter percent of the present growth.
In the paradigm of recent times, we generally come across different facets of our country with every passing hour. From having the first mover advantage to being a laggard, we have redefined our democracy in a more subtle way.
Now the thing to ponder is what is that they have done right and we have not? Despite being a communist ruled country till date, their growth and advancement has been phenomenal. Most importantly I would say the lack of conviction on the part of the politicians have led to the downfall of India. The division on the basis of Cast, Creed and Sex has inherently made this country a hollow dump of false hopes and promises. The most devastating and the prominent cause of this downfall of democracy has been corruption which is so widely spread across the sectors in India. From the Ministers to the Peons, everybody has in some way or the other shown the signs of corruption which has stalled the progress of this nation. Now even the people of the country have lost faith in its leaders which can be accounted by low turnover of votes during the Elections. Nobody wants to get into Politics thinking it to be a manhole in which one who falls gets corrupted. The tonnes of Food Grains that are being left to rot in the stores depict the condition of democracy in India
A Communist or Military dominance would have augured well for the country seeing the present State of Affairs. The richer are becoming more rich and the Poorer and getting more poor. Is this the justice of a democracy? My view says it’s certainly not. It’s a strangulation of the core basis of democracy which is equality of rights and freedom. The government should have certain consideration towards the lower section of the society to make this country a successful democracy. Just running the various incentive schemes won’t change the situation unless they are monitored and guided well. The infrastructure planning and execution should be on par with the proposal of the Planning Commission for a rapid growth. A change in the attitude and a more concrete way of taking responsibility and handling issues can take this country to a higher level of democracy otherwise it will soon turn into a curse.
Dear Phil,
May I assess this essay of Tusheet. First of all let me make it clear that the story type of debating essays are certainly interesting. I feel that we can influence the reader better through this type than the fact and figure method which is quite traditional. Don’t you agree, Phil?
Now let me suggest the obvious. As Phil advised later in this entry, (Pl. see below.) give some points of the other side of argument. So that you should not sound quite biased. It is easy to find fault with a system. But it is difficult to provide a solution. Rules are quite strict in China unlike India, where we have democracy. It will be like comparing the actions of US and India as far as attacking a foreign country is concerned. India is not US to launch an attack on Pakistan as did in case of Afghanistan to set right the terrorists there.
Tutor Phil, Thanks a million for your answer to my question. Now I would like to know how to write argumentative or debate type of essays effectively. I have tried out a method practically in classes which is quite effective. I write the topic on the board and ask the students to give me some points FOR and AGAINST the topic. Once I get about five points on both sides, I ask the students to write their essays.
I have question here. While writing an essay, is it necessary to to stick to one oint only or we can have an opposite!!
Dear Sanjay,
Sorry about the belated reply – blame it on the efforts towards my new book that’s coming out soon.
With regards to your method – it’s a great method. It makes your students THINK, which is a key human activity. Great job there.
And as for your question – it’s a great question. I’ll give you my honest answer, and please don’t feel like I’m lecturing you. 🙂 I’m simply telling it as it is.
The answer is that you may write either a completely one-sided argument, or a perfectly balanced argument. There is also a third kind of an argument which I call one-sided with a small objection. You may use one of these three according to your needs and your conscience.
1. If one of your students writes that chocolate ice-cream is the best in the world and the rest of the flavors are junk, and gives you a very well-written argument to support that thought, will you downgrade him just because you like vanilla? It may seem that the student is inconsiderate of the opinions of others. But if he truly believes that, and hates vanilla, how can he write that vanilla is good as well? In short, there is nothing wrong with a one-sided argument. Write it, but remember that a good chunk of your audience may disagree.
2. If you write a very balanced perspective, it is best to sway a little towards one side or the other, so that it appears that you have an opinion.
3. The one method that most readers will appreciate is to write a one-sided argument with a little counterargument. It’s like saying: I love almost everything about a Toyota. It’s fast, reliable, and inexpensive. Unfortunately, it’s not good-looking enough, but that’s nothing in view of all the benefits.
This way, your argument is strongly one-sided. But your reader also gets a sense that you’re not biased.
Hope this helps,
Phil
what is a good thesis statement for my first college essay that I’m writing in class. I also don’t know how to start it
Nayeli,
I would advise to watch the videos on this website if you need to learn how to get started.
Writing a good thesis statement is your first step. But it also consists of several steps. So, the best first step is to watch the videos on my blog – they all contain advice on how to get started.
Best…
TP
How would I write a thesis for a year 8 essay??
What is year 8 essay? Year 8 of grade school?
Hi! Phil
can you help me to make a thesis statement about in corruption 🙂 Thank you
Sure,
Try to write one yourself according to the instructions here, and I’ll look at it.
TP
I really like the idea of your explainations thanks
You’re welcome!
TP
How to start an thesis statement about corruption.