Do you consistentlyget good grades on your essays? If yes, then drop me a line – I’d like to congratulate you. If, on the other hand, you’re struggling, or your essay grades are not where you want them to be, then keep reading.
Would you like to achieve the following quickly and easily?
Improve your grade instantly
Come across as very literate to your professor
Make an impression of a good writer
Stop coming across as a complete beginner
Come across as a mature and intelligent writer of expository essays
If you answered yes to one or more, then here is one little word that can either make these possible, or create an opposite effect, depending on how you use it. And the word is…
YOU
That’s right – “you.” Student essays are so infested with this word used inappropriately, that it is no wonder professors hate it. Here is an example:
The Internet is wonderful because you can find anything you want on it nowadays.
The word you is used twice here, and you may not see anything wrong with that. Professors do – they pay attention right away. You see, the problem with using the word you like this in order to make a general statement is that the writer addresses the reader directly.
And this is a bit impolite, if you will. As you read these blog posts, you may say, “But, Phil, you use ‘you’ all the time!”
That’s true. You know why? Because these articles are meant as an instruction manual, not as expository essays. A college level essay is a totally different animal.
Here’s the bottom line: professors will give you higher grades for sentences that don’t use the word you. Also, if you get rid of it when writing your sentences, they will become better and more elegant.
So, can we rewrite the above sentence without using the word you? Let’s try:
The Internet is wonderful because anything can be found on it nowadays.
Or:
The Internet is wonderful because it provides access to any information instantly.
You see, there is always more than one way of saying something. Let’s do one more:
You should always stick to the decisions you make.
Let’s try it without you:
Decisions should be followed through.
This is shorter and more elegant, if only I say so. I hope you agree.
Questions? Comments? Post ‘em here.
Tutor Phil
Comments
qhuongsays
The original passage:
Perhap at first, you can ignore an advertisement you have just watched on TV, but when it comes to buying that product, the advertisement is very useful. For example, when you want to buy an air conditioner. There are many brands and many kinds of air conditioner. You do not have enough time to browse a shop to compare which item is suitable for your house. The advertisements help you narrow down the list, therefore it is easier for you to make a good choice.
And now I rewrite it without using the word “you”:
Perhap at first, the advertisements can be ignored because people want to watch their favorite programs on TV instead of wasting time watching advertisements. But when it comes to buying certain product, the advertisement is very useful. For example, the air conditioner companies have to campaign an advertisement to make their products known to the public. Their customers will benefit from the advertisement because it narrow the list of products so that the customers do not have to browse a shop to compare which item is suitable.
You’ve done an excellent job – congratulations! Your sentences now sound more mature and elegant.
I’d really appreciate it if you shared what you’ve learned. What is your impression of this exercise? Do you think it helped you improve as a writer in any way? Just post a comment here and let me know.
Now, let’s do more homework. Here’s your original thesis statement:
Many people have argued that advertising makes us buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements provide us with useful information. In my opinion, advertising does not make us do anything against our will. There are several reasons why I hold this opinion.
Here’s what I would like you to do:
1. Read this post on How to Write a Thesis Statement:
2. Try to rewrite your thesis statement according to what you learned from the article, and post both versions – before and after the revision as a comment under that post. And again, we’ll continue from there.
I’m very glad that you’re serious about learning how to write essays. Keep it up!
This post is perfectly what I am looking for. we want some more amazing information. Please put in more attractive information that would help others in such best way.
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essays
The original passage:
Perhap at first, you can ignore an advertisement you have just watched on TV, but when it comes to buying that product, the advertisement is very useful. For example, when you want to buy an air conditioner. There are many brands and many kinds of air conditioner. You do not have enough time to browse a shop to compare which item is suitable for your house. The advertisements help you narrow down the list, therefore it is easier for you to make a good choice.
And now I rewrite it without using the word “you”:
Perhap at first, the advertisements can be ignored because people want to watch their favorite programs on TV instead of wasting time watching advertisements. But when it comes to buying certain product, the advertisement is very useful. For example, the air conditioner companies have to campaign an advertisement to make their products known to the public. Their customers will benefit from the advertisement because it narrow the list of products so that the customers do not have to browse a shop to compare which item is suitable.
qhuong,
You’ve done an excellent job – congratulations! Your sentences now sound more mature and elegant.
I’d really appreciate it if you shared what you’ve learned. What is your impression of this exercise? Do you think it helped you improve as a writer in any way? Just post a comment here and let me know.
Now, let’s do more homework. Here’s your original thesis statement:
Many people have argued that advertising makes us buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements provide us with useful information. In my opinion, advertising does not make us do anything against our will. There are several reasons why I hold this opinion.
Here’s what I would like you to do:
1. Read this post on How to Write a Thesis Statement:
https://www.tutorphil.com/blog/how-to-write-a-great-thesis-statement/
2. Try to rewrite your thesis statement according to what you learned from the article, and post both versions – before and after the revision as a comment under that post. And again, we’ll continue from there.
I’m very glad that you’re serious about learning how to write essays. Keep it up!
Phil
I’m really impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your weblog. Anyway keep up the nice quality writing.
This post is perfectly what I am looking for. we want some more amazing information. Please put in more attractive information that would help others in such best way.