In this video I will give you two essay writing examples.
Let’s take a look.
Here is our first topic: “Should children aged 13 be allowed to drive?”
So in step one, we’re going decide if it’s yes or no. So let’s decide and say, “no.”
In step two, we will write out the thesis.
And here it is:
“Children as young as 13 should not be allowed to drive.”
Now in step three, we will use the Power of Three to divide this topic, meaning we will find three reasons why children should not be allowed to drive.
Here’s our essay structure.
Children should not be allowed to drive.
Number 1: It’s because they are not serious enough. Right? They are still children so they are not quite serious enough.
Number 2: They are too small physically. They might not be able to see very well from behind the wheel.
Number 3: They need too much supervision.
Okay, let’s take a look at another essay topic.
Is marijuana very dangerous?
Well, let’s see.
Step 1: Again we’re going to decide yes or no. And let’s decide and say “no.”
Step 2: We will write out the thesis.
And here it is:
“Marijuana is relatively safe.”
Step 3: We’re going to use the Power of Three again to divide this topic.
Let’s see how this works in this essay.
So, we were saying that marijuana is relatively safe.
We’re going to say:
Section 1: It has healing properties.
Section 2: It is not as addictive as other drugs.
Section 3: It can improve some cognitive processes.
Now, I’m not sure if this is exactly correct but I’m sticking with this right now because I just want to give you an example of how you can divide a topic into three parts.
Thank you so much that I found this site. It is really helpful. I had a lot of realization after reading all your post.Thank you so much. By the way Tutor Phil, I am going to post my written essay here and please help me how to improve it. I am so frustrated about my writing. As a non-native speaker, it is hard for me to make a good one.
Thank you so much, Teacher Phil!
Essay Question: Do you agree with Zig Ziglar’s Statement “Little you can learn from doing nothing”?
I strongly agree with ZigZiglar statement that from doing nothing, we can learn little, for three reasons. Less opportunity creates less learning, the response can never be given if there is no stimulus happen, and lastly, if we do not do anything, the brain stops thinking.
First, less opportunity means less learning. When we do not give ourselves a chance to be involved in every activity or situation, then we are limiting ourselves to grow. For instance, when we were in school teachers encourage us to participate in class discussion. From there we learn how to express our ideas, opinions, and points of view. Aside from that, we also learn from our classmates. However, if we are hesitant to try, then learning does not take place.
Another reason is that there is no response if there is no stimulus. The result of our actions depends upon that something that causes a change or a reaction. For example, if we want our student to follow or listen to us, we must set some rules in order for them to obey. Consistency and reinforcement should be given so that the desired positive response and a good attitude will be developed. On the contrary, if they will disobey the rules, consequences will be given in order for them to know the concept of obeying it. Thus learning is a two-way street, whether they obey or not, the teacher knows that they are still gaining.
The best reason is that the brain stops thinking, if we do nothing. Like, if we are not doing anything, our brain becomes lazy and it is not used to its potential. That is why we tend to forget a lot of things, and it gradually loses our memory skills. Whereas, if we keep ourselves busy, our brain is also busy processing. While the mind is working, it sharpens our memory, and then we are also gaining a lot of knowledge from it.
In summary, learning a lot of things is equal to doing a lot of things. We open more opportunities and authentic experiences for us to grow. As a result, we will be improved on how to react positively to different things that come our way. Therefore, this gradually develops our whole being to its totality. Indeed, learning is a lifestyle, we do it every day, nurturing, practicing and making ourselves a better person.
Thanks for posting this here. I won’t go into grammar because grammar is a special topic that I rarely touch upon. I’m mostly interested in how you put together your argument in writing. So, here are my notes.
Remember – clarity above all. Here is the first part of your thesis, in your words: “Less opportunity creates less learning.” Well, the question is about “doing nothing vs doing a lot.” So, the word “opportunity” in your statement should probably be changed to the word “action” and then developed from there. You see, it has to be clear that your entire statement is about “action vs inaction,” which is the theme of Brian Tracy’s statement.
In the second part (reason 2) of your thesis, you use the word “response.” However, that’s too general. You are really talking about positive change, and specifically change in behavior. So, state that clearly. For example, “without the stimulus of action, no personal improvement is possible.” See the difference from “the response can never be given if there is no stimulus happen,” which is your version? Make it as clear and direct as possible.
Finally, your last point is not exactly that “the brain stops thinking,” but that brain health and cognitive capacity depend on action. With action, they develop. Without action, they deteriorate.
This is a very good early effort, and I am proud of you for taking the action and actually learning, as you say in your essay. I’ll give you more food for thought. You made one big mistake when writing the essay – you made your first section about “learning” while your entire essay is about learning. See what I’m saying?
Your entire essay is about LEARNING. Therefore, no single section should be about just LEARNING in general, but should be about one of three of its aspects, or parts. Let me offer a more concise version of your thesis:
Action is the key to learning. It leads to improved (1) self-expression, (2) behavior, and (3) cognitive function.
Thank you so much for taking time reading and correcting my essay. I really appreciate it. I am so thankful for helping me understand the question and giving me those wonderful ideas to improve my writing.
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Hi Phil,
Thank you so much that I found this site. It is really helpful. I had a lot of realization after reading all your post.Thank you so much. By the way Tutor Phil, I am going to post my written essay here and please help me how to improve it. I am so frustrated about my writing. As a non-native speaker, it is hard for me to make a good one.
Thank you so much, Teacher Phil!
Essay Question: Do you agree with Zig Ziglar’s Statement “Little you can learn from doing nothing”?
I strongly agree with ZigZiglar statement that from doing nothing, we can learn little, for three reasons. Less opportunity creates less learning, the response can never be given if there is no stimulus happen, and lastly, if we do not do anything, the brain stops thinking.
First, less opportunity means less learning. When we do not give ourselves a chance to be involved in every activity or situation, then we are limiting ourselves to grow. For instance, when we were in school teachers encourage us to participate in class discussion. From there we learn how to express our ideas, opinions, and points of view. Aside from that, we also learn from our classmates. However, if we are hesitant to try, then learning does not take place.
Another reason is that there is no response if there is no stimulus. The result of our actions depends upon that something that causes a change or a reaction. For example, if we want our student to follow or listen to us, we must set some rules in order for them to obey. Consistency and reinforcement should be given so that the desired positive response and a good attitude will be developed. On the contrary, if they will disobey the rules, consequences will be given in order for them to know the concept of obeying it. Thus learning is a two-way street, whether they obey or not, the teacher knows that they are still gaining.
The best reason is that the brain stops thinking, if we do nothing. Like, if we are not doing anything, our brain becomes lazy and it is not used to its potential. That is why we tend to forget a lot of things, and it gradually loses our memory skills. Whereas, if we keep ourselves busy, our brain is also busy processing. While the mind is working, it sharpens our memory, and then we are also gaining a lot of knowledge from it.
In summary, learning a lot of things is equal to doing a lot of things. We open more opportunities and authentic experiences for us to grow. As a result, we will be improved on how to react positively to different things that come our way. Therefore, this gradually develops our whole being to its totality. Indeed, learning is a lifestyle, we do it every day, nurturing, practicing and making ourselves a better person.
Hello Riza,
Thanks for posting this here. I won’t go into grammar because grammar is a special topic that I rarely touch upon. I’m mostly interested in how you put together your argument in writing. So, here are my notes.
Remember – clarity above all. Here is the first part of your thesis, in your words: “Less opportunity creates less learning.” Well, the question is about “doing nothing vs doing a lot.” So, the word “opportunity” in your statement should probably be changed to the word “action” and then developed from there. You see, it has to be clear that your entire statement is about “action vs inaction,” which is the theme of Brian Tracy’s statement.
In the second part (reason 2) of your thesis, you use the word “response.” However, that’s too general. You are really talking about positive change, and specifically change in behavior. So, state that clearly. For example, “without the stimulus of action, no personal improvement is possible.” See the difference from “the response can never be given if there is no stimulus happen,” which is your version? Make it as clear and direct as possible.
Finally, your last point is not exactly that “the brain stops thinking,” but that brain health and cognitive capacity depend on action. With action, they develop. Without action, they deteriorate.
This is a very good early effort, and I am proud of you for taking the action and actually learning, as you say in your essay. I’ll give you more food for thought. You made one big mistake when writing the essay – you made your first section about “learning” while your entire essay is about learning. See what I’m saying?
Your entire essay is about LEARNING. Therefore, no single section should be about just LEARNING in general, but should be about one of three of its aspects, or parts. Let me offer a more concise version of your thesis:
Action is the key to learning. It leads to improved (1) self-expression, (2) behavior, and (3) cognitive function.
This is your real statement and real structure.
Keep practicing, and good job!
Tutor Phil
Dear Tutor Phil,
Thank you so much for taking time reading and correcting my essay. I really appreciate it. I am so thankful for helping me understand the question and giving me those wonderful ideas to improve my writing.
Again, thank you so much.
Riza
You’re welcome!